I miss things.

As I read back over this I am concerned that this might come off as A compliant. Maybe in some ways it is. I have been trying hard to find my place in a new geographic location but I have not been able to put down any root. I have a job and a precious few friends here and for that I am grateful. I have tried and managed to find things that I appreciate about St Louis, I really like this town as far as towns go and here are the reasons why: I like Forrest park with its free zoo and museums. I love the insane playground that is City Museum. I like the Loop in U City and Main St in St Charles. I like the Schafleys and Trailhead pubs. I like seeing fireflies in the summer and the great rivers. But other than that... I have been missing things.

I miss (real) mountains covered in evergreen. I miss the waterfalls crashing down them and blowing a fresh cool mist into my face. I miss being able to drive to the ocean on a whim during a slow weekend. Sitting on a rock while the tied comes in. Watching the sun sink into the distant waves while hoping to catch a glimpse of a whale or some other wild beast of my imagination. Soaking in a hotspring on a cool day after a hard week.

I also miss the towns. Having my feet firmly on the concrete but feeling free. Sipping coffee and being surrounded by used books. Getting donuts with friends in the middle of the night. Getting the best Mexican food I have ever tasted from a man speaking broken English out of a food cart for $4. Pub theaters. Live music and art every night. The grime, the energy and knowing my place and authority in it.

I miss my friends and family (the lines between the two are blurred sometimes). I miss having people around that really know me and love me anyway. I miss the community that I was part of and being able to truly connect with people in spirit and in truth. I miss my nephews and niece, I wish I could be around them more as they grow so fast in these early years.

I don’t know where to go from here and I don't know what to do while I am still here.

I have been in St Louis for over a year now and I still don’t feel like I have really found my place (even though it is not a bad place). I am really not sure that I will ever really belong here... maybe that is okay.

Thank you friends. I love you.

-Tyler

Friends, strangers and acquaintances from around the globe: I welcome you.

Thank you for Joining me on my first blog post since the early 2000's. It seemed like ages ago that I wrote about myself on a designed-for-the-times website called xanga... Pre-Myspace, Those were the days!  It has truly been a long time and so much has changed in the world of technology. It may take me a while to get the dust and cob webs off so please, bare with me.

I don't boast any particular whit or wisdom but I have been toying about with the idea of putting portions of my brain into digital form so as to be better displayed publicly for the benefit of other prying eyes and inquiring minds. I would much rather have put a portion of my real brain on display and have it carted around from town to town in a jar of formaldehyde... or perhaps in an air tight glass box. At any rate, the risk of my brain being damaged in transit was considerable and the task of finding my brain a suitable handler is rather daunting. So here we are... On the internet.

Since my last visit to the 'digital realm' things have greatly changed, both here and in the physical world. People seem to have shorter attention spans, music production has fallen in the crapper, social networking has made face to face human interaction less meaningful, the government has gone to war with all sorts of countries and gotten themselves deeper in debt, the internet is faster, better designed and accessible by mobile devices without having to plug you computer into a phone line, everyone has a cell phone that is also a computer, music player, camera, recording device and lord knows what else! The times have gotten faster and crazier and I wonder how things will ever slow down again. There is a generation who does not remember life before the internet... It is this sort of thing that truly boggles my mind.

Also in this time I have released over a dozen albums with various forms of my band, traveled all over the United States, been rich, been broke, lost everything, gained everything, played with some of my favorite bands, been played on the radio, performed in front of 8 thousand, performed in front of 8, It truly has been a good life... Not easy... But good.

This is probably enough for now. I have a decade I could recount to you but I will spare you. Thank you for joining me.

May your dreems be deep and keep you far from the clutches of death.

-Rev (Tyler) Folklore


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